Complicated.......

AS JY OOIT GEDINK HET JOU LEWE IS COMPLICATED, DINK WEER... 

Liewe Dokter : Help Asb !!!!  

My pa en ek woon saam en ons het 'n radio en 'n TV.

Hy is 'n wewenaar en ek is ongetroud. 
Onder ons woon 'n weduwee en haar dogter, albei baie mooi en sonder 'n radio of TV. Hulle kom kuier gereeld by ons en ek raak toe verlief op die weduwee. Ons trou toe uiteindelik. Intussen raak my pa verlief op die dogter en hulle trou toe ook.  

Net daar begin my probleme.  
 
Omdat my pa met die dogter van my vrou getroud is, (ook my dogter), is my dogter nou my ma. Ek is ook terselfdertyd haar pa, omdat ek met haar ma getroud is. Verder is my pa my vrou se skoonseun en ek is dus sy skoonpa omdat ek met die ma van sy vrou getroud is. Toe kry my vrou 'n seuntjie. Dit is ook my seun en die broer van my skoondogter, omdat sy die dogter van my vrou is. 
Die seuntjie is ook ek en my pa se swaer. Ek is dus my eie seun se neef en ook die neef van my skoondogter, omdat sy my seun se suster is. Daarom is my skoonma ook my tannie. 
Toe kry my pa se vrou ook 'n seuntjie en hy word dus my broer. 
My seun is oom van my kleinkind, omdat hy die broer van my dogter is. 
My vrou is sy ouma grootjie, want sy is die kind van haar dogter. Ek is dus sy oupa grootjie. 
Aangesien die oupa grootjie van my broer ook myne is, is ek dus my eie oupa grootjie! 

Dokter moet asb help, Wie is ek nou eintlik ? 

Groete Gert 

History In The Making........

She has silky brown hair and peircing blue eyes and has broungh nothing bu joy and excitment to her parents, But Susan Juliette Beatie's birth was extraordinary - her father gave birth to her after 40-hour labour and her mother stood by, coaching him through his contractions, feeding him ice chips and murmuring words of encouragement. And she cut the baby's umbilical cord and put the little girl on her exhausted but proud daddy's chest. 

Thomas Beatie says he is just like any other normal father.

Although born a woman, Beatie had his breasts removed and lives outwardly as a man after changing his gender to male. 

The 34-year-old says he retained his female sex organs because he intended to have children one day.

He conceived with sperm from a donor and was inseminated at home by his 45-year-old wife Nancy, using a do-it-yourself kit. 

Despite opposition from family, friends and the medical profession he continued with the controversial pregnancy and says that on June 29 he delivered Susan Juliette.

He told the News of the World: 'We see ourselves as a traditional family - husband, wife and child. Nancy and I have strong family values and will raise Susan with integrity, compassion and respect for all people. 

'Like any proud dad I look forward to being a huge part of my daughter's life. I can't wait to watch her and Nancy bake cookies and cupcakes together.'

Taken from the You and Dailymail

Huh?

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
116 years
from 1337 to 1453
 
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
Ecuador
 
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
From sheep and horses

 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
November
The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours
 
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands are named after what animal?
Dog
The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name?
Albert
When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert

 8) What colour is a purple finch?
Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
New Zealand
 
10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?
Thirty years, of course - from 1618 to 1648

Joke For The Day.....

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.

The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance."

Which Colour For Which Day?

A friend recently introduced me to the fact that the days of the week have associated colours, and that one might take these into account when choosing what to wear, to eat or -in my case- what to drink. The colours are defined by the Ayurveda, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayurveda) the “ancient system of health care that is native to the Indian subcontinent“.

Here is the basics to remeber what colour of undies to put on, on which days:

Monday: Lord Shiva rules on Mondays. White is the colour for Mondays and therefore wearing white dresses and keeping white flowers at home are recommended on Mondays. It is a good day for men seeking favours from women and for making new friends. Taking honey and cucumber on Mondays is likely to yield good results.

Tuesday: Red being the most suitable colour for Tuesdays, wearing red clothes and keeping red flowers at home on the day may prove to be good. Men shall be courageous on the day and Tuesdays are the most suitable days to settle long-standing issues with the police and army. Administrative and hard laborious work should be undertaken on Tuesdays.

Wednesday: Ruled by Mercury, the day is most suitable for activities involving cerebral faculties, banking, finance, crop and grain trading and the acquisition of wealth. Wednesday is ideal for romance. All activities requiring cerebral input and intellectual faculties are recommended on Wednesdays. (…) The day is ideal for planting trees, as green is the colour of the day. Keeping green plants at home, wearing green clothes and eating beans and gota mungdal on Wednesday would ensure good effects.

Thursday: Though travelling is virtually a taboo on Thursdays, efforts to retrieve lost wealth and articles are expected to succeed if undertaken on Thursdays. Thursday is an excellent day to join any educational institute or to begin any academic pursuits; such activities should, however, be undertaken in the first half of the day. (…) Wearing yellow or off-white clothes, keeping yellow or off-white flowers at home and eating arhar dal, papaya and rice with ghee on Thursdays may bring in good results.

Friday: Shukra (Venus) and Bhubaneshwari Devi rule Friday and promise success, especially to women. Happiness permeates the day. Friendship blossoms and effortless gains are natural events of the day. Most suitable for the purchase of new vehicles, Friday is also a good day for medical treatments of serious illness, as the healing energies are most active on the day. It is a day for purchasing jewellery, precious stones, ornaments and new houses. (…) Very light blue or white are the colours of the day.

Saturday: If you are besieged by nagging interminable legal problems, launch an all out effort to resolve the problem on Saturdays. Any work initiated in the first half on Saturday carries a high possibility of success. anyone leading a pious lifestyle on the day, bereft of luxuries, eating sesame seed paste and grilled black brinjal, keeping purple flowers at home and wearing black clothes, is likely to receive success and blessings of Shani or Saturn.

Sunday: An excellent day to undertake journeys, Sunday is also an extremely conducive day on which to resolve old disputes. Sunday, being a day for celebration, is the most suitable day to feed and entertain friends and family. (…) If one wears pink or maroon clothes on Sundays one can make friends easily and will enhance one’s personality. It is the day which is most suitable to initiate discussions and negotiations about new projects with government officials.

more Funny pictures

Dogs Property Law

  1) If I like it, it's mine. 
  2) If it's in my mouth, it's mine. 
  3) If I can take it from you, it's mine. 
  4) If I had it a little while ago, it's still mine. 
  5) If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way. 
  6) If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 
  7) If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 
  8) If I saw it first, it's mine. 
  9) If you are playing with something and you put it down,                       it automatically becomes mine. 
10) If it's broken, it's yours.

So that's were Tammy gets her ideas from!

Blue Monday?

Make Time To Play

"If we fail to nourish our souls, they wither, 
and without soul, life ceases to have 
meaning.... The creative process shrivels in 
the absence of continual dialogue with the 
soul. And creativity is what makes life worth living."
                                             -- Marion Woodman

Stress, fear, negativity, too much to do and doing 
things for others at the expense of our own needs -- 
these all stifle our innate creativity. Relaxation, fun, 
meditation, and going after our dreams all get the 
creative juices flowing. Soul is always creative, 
always fresh and new.

How can you create more space in your life to allow 
the soul’s energy out to play?

"I learned... that inspiration does not come 
like a bolt, nor is it kinetic, energetic, 
striving, but it comes to us slowly and 
quietly and all the time, though we must 
regularly and every day give it a little 
chance to start flowing, prime it with a little 
solitude and idleness."
                                       -- Brenda Ueland

"I lived in solitude in the country and 
noticed how the monotony of quiet life 
stimulates the creative mind."
                                     -- Albert Einstein

Sharks Hold On For Currie Cup Victory

The Sharks held on for a hard-fought 16-11 win over the Xerox Lions in a crucial Absa Currie Cuprugby match at the Absa Stadium Saturday.

Go Sharks Go!

Ads Never To Be Seen Again

We've always been obsessed with diet, but this is going too far...

Yes, live a little!

This is so not a turn on.

Another great dieting tip.

We've come a long way.

Survivor SA

Here is my suggestion for Survivor SA ..... in South Africa! 

Challenge 1: 
All contestants to be run through Hatfield, Pretoria shouting "Bulls suck!" 
- Anyone who survives goes to the next round. 
Challenge 2: 
Remaining contestants to attend a Jacob Zuma rally, wearing T-Shirts with the slogan: "He's Guilty!!!" 
- Anyone who survives goes to the next round. 
Challenge 3: 
Remaining contestants to find their way through Durban, using only 
newly renamed streets. 
- Anyone who finds the final destination, goes to the next round. 
Challenge 4: 
Rewire Koeberg in Cape Town. 
- Anyone who survives, goes to the next round. 
Challenge 5: 
Spend a week living only on health remedies provided by Manto 
Tshabalala-Msimang (Beetroot, Potato & Garlic cocktails compulsory) 
- Anyone who survives, goes to the next round 
Challenge 6: 
Get treated at any government hospital in South Africa. 
- Anyone who survives, goes to the next round. 
Challenge 7: 
Park at any offramp one evening in Johannesburg, for an hour. 
- Anyone who survives, goes to the next round. 
Challenge 8: 
Spend a weekend in East London. 
- Anyone who survives, goes to the next round. 
Challenge 9: 
Drive your choice of Coin or Fidelity Guards vehicle down any South 
African highway of choice. 
- Anyone who survives, goes to the next round. 
Challenge 10: 
Apply for an ID book or driver's licence at Home Affairs. 
- Anyone who survives, goes to the next round. 
Challenge 11: 
Go out on the town nightclubbing with Jabu (Pule) Mahlangu, or Mandoza. 
- Anyone who survives, goes to the next round. 
Challenge 12: 
Catch a ride in a taxi in Joburg or Durban, or a bus from Joburg to Durban. 
- Anyone who survives, goes to the next round. 
Challenge 13: 
Coach the Springboks, or Bafana. 
- Anyone who survives, goes to the next round. 
Final Challenge: 
On behalf of Butane Khompela, final survivors must go and confiscate Os du Randt or Bakkies Botha's passports, and tell them they cannot go to the World Cup. Anyone who survives, wins!!

Smart Answers.......

SMART ANSWER #6 --
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ANSWER #5 -- 
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. 
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.' 

SMART ANSWER #4 -- 
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.' 

SMART ANSWER #3 -- 
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said. The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. 

SMART ANSWER #2 -- 
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, 'Low Bridge overhead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh.' The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.' 

SMART ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007 -- 
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal inj ury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-%$ guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

Two bonus extras: 

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, 'May I have 50 Christmas stamps?' 
The clerk says, 'What denomination?' 
The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.' 

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' 
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' 

He never heard the shot....

Die Ooreenkoms Tussen Rugbyspanne!

Die ooreenkoms tussen 'n Bloubul rugby game en 'n blou movie...
Jy weet wat gaan gebeur maar dis nogsteeds lekker om te kyk...

Die ooreenkoms tussen Lions rugby en Brokeback Mountain ......
Daar is op enige gegewe tyd 'n paar gewillige poepolle in die veld

Die ooreenkoms tussen Sharks rugby en Finding Nemo
Jy cheer hom aan maar eintlik net omdat jy hom jammer kry

Die ooreenkoms tussen Cheetah rugby en Eskom
Die ligte werk nie al beweer hulle daar is krag

Die ooreenkoms tussen Stormers rugby en Robbin Eiland
Jy lees so nou en dan van hulle in die geskiedenis boeke

It's Weekend......

All For One and One For All

Brick Walls

Brick Walls are there for a reason. They are not there to keep us out.

The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop people who don't want it badly enough! :-)

Go Sharks

What Drives You?

"Your life has to do with the agenda that 
has been set for you by you, by that part of 
you that we’ve come to call, in our language, 
your soul."
                                           -- Neale Donald Walsch

Our purpose in life has a spiritual foundation. 
Our MAJOR LIFE ISSUES are usually of 3 types:

- physical and POWER-ORIENTED, like making our 
  stand and being more courageous.

- emotional and LOVE-ORIENTED, like expressing and 
  receiving love, compassion and nurturing others. 

- mental and INTELLECT-ORIENTED, like developing 
  our minds and creating new things and processes.

 

"Our prayers are answered not when we are 
given what we ask, but when we are 
challenged to be what we can be."
                             -- Morris Adler

Snack Time......

Baby Instructions

Abandoned.........

Today I discovered something I never knew happened or existed. I was quite shocked!

Every month I buy the Animaltalk magazine as I love animals and find the articles interesting and useful. This month however I was quite saddened by an article called Abandoned. A gentleman by the name of Gareth Crocker just wrote a book “ Leaving Jack” that recounts how hundreds of war dogs were simply left behind in Vietnam by the US military.

The author from South Africa has blown the lid off one of America’s most controversial modern day wartime decisions: to abandon hundreds if not thousands of dogs serving in the Vietnam War.

As the United States government began to feel the cost of withdrawing troops from Vietnam at the end of the war in 1973, they made a decision to leave behind many of their war assets, declaring these items as ‘surplus military equipment’.
Tragically, particularly for scores of dog handlers, the ruling extended to war dogs. This meant that, despite the countless lives these highly-trained and brave canine soldiers had saved, they were to be abandoned in Vietnam. 
The news was greeted with shock and disbelief by the dog handlers who, ultimately, were forced to leave their dogs behind.

It’s believed some of the handlers were threatened with arrest if they did not comply with the ruling. Some of the dogs were handed over to the South Vietnamese while others were simply left to fates unknown. Many would have been skinned and eaten; others would have starved to death. Without medication, some of the lucky ones would have been quickly lost to a combination of disease and the harsh South East Asia climate. All of them would have been alone and frightened.
The website www.war-dogs.com, which is dedicated to dog soldiers in combat, estimates that the some 3 000+ war dogs who served in Vietnam saved the lives of at least 10 000 US and Allied soldiers, yet only about 200 of them made it home. The web site carries a number of harrowing stories from dog handlers, many of whom have still not come to terms with what happened.

“There would be a whole lot more names on the Vietnam Wall without these dogs...”
          -- Dr. John Kubisz, 764th Veterinary Detachment in Vietnam

Is Your Neighbours Flatscreen Realy A Flatscreen TV?

Where Would You Be?

A Heartwarming Story

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid ass against the railing, killing him instantly. 

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Hallo Ma!

HALLO MA!!! 

Baie dankies vir die oulike onderbroekies wat Ma vir my op die plaas uit meelsakkies gemaak het. Die meeste van hulle het groot reaksie by die Gooste" hier by die varsity uitgelok. 

Sannie het my onderbroekie heel aand net stip gesit en bekyk** dis nou daai een waar voorop staan "SELF-RAISING". Heel aand nie 'n oog verroer nie. Sy het lateraand net gesê "Dit werkie !" Wat nie werkie, weet ek nou noggie. 

Maar Magriet het haar nou die aand geniet toe ek die een aangehad het waar voorop staan " ROL DUN UIT" .. Sy is 'n handvol en was nogal plesierig. Maar jislaaik is sy nogal rats met daai ou klein handjies van haar. 

Al bogger-op wat ek nou nog nie kan verstaan nie, is die klap wat Berta my gegee het gisteraand. Sy verstaan seker nie watse moeite dit is om so 'n plaasonderbroek te maak nie. Ek het net 'n uur gekuier en toe ek met my ander onderbroek wou spog, haak sy af en klap my van die bed af. Ma weet mos dis daai een waar in rooi staan "IDEAAL VIR VETKOEKE" 

Weet nou nog nie wat haar storie was nie, sal hom maar eers bêre !

Any-way, Ma ,laat dit lekker gaan op die plaas !! 

Van jou Pietie

xxxxx 

Guess What Was For Supper?

As promised, here's the update for our weekly supper with the family! We could not smell a thing as we entered the Lategan's house, which was strange as we're suppose to have supper with them. Something was brewing though as the oven light was on, and that is normally a very good indication that supper is nearly ready. On the stove the rice was busy cooking all by itself, so something must be baking, well I can assume! 

Before we can eat, as always, watch 7de Laan.

Then out of the oven came a dish we had not prepared for, a dish we have not eaten in about 2 years! Bobotie, wow, that took me back to the good old days when my mother use to cook for us. Sweet memories. Bobotie served with rice and a nice green salad on the side. What more can a Afrikaner ask for?

Four More Visitors In The Garden

Sorry Mel, no chicken yet!

Look For The Gifts

"In school you get the lesson and then take the test ... 
In life you take the test and then get the lesson."
                                     -- Unknown Source

"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars."
                                -- Charles Beard

How is a problem in your life really an opportunity?

Problems invite us to go inside to recognize a bigger 
picture of ourselves and of life. This bigger picture 
brings meaning to what is unfolding. When you feel trapped 
in a problem, see if you can shift your perspective. 
Ask yourself, “What is my soul inviting me to learn 
from this situation?” The answer will always revolve 
around a quality or value, like gratitude, freedom, 
compassion, love, will, humour or acceptance. 
The answer will also always promote union rather than separation.

As soon as we find the meaning in our challenge, 
our resistance to it melts away. Often, awareness 
of the lesson is all that is needed to resolve the problem. 
If not, the awareness brings us courage and ways to work through it. 

"The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most

difficult period in one’s life."
                           -- Dalai Lama

"Out of clutter, find Simplicity. From discord, find Harmony.

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."
                                -- Albert Einstein

Cute Animal Pics!

Visitor In The Garden

I found this stunning looking chameleon in our garden this afternoon! It was busy chasing another and at quite a speed! I always imagined them being slow, but was amazed at how fast they were able to move, as I lost them while changing my camera settings!

Life.........

You Are Complete......

"Everything you need you already have. 
You are complete right now, you are a whole, 
total person, not an apprentice person on the 
way to someplace else."
                         -- Wayne Dyer

Close your eyes and imagine that everything you have and
everything you are is enough. You don’t need to be better
or different -- you’re great just as you are. Can you experience 
the peace and contentment that owning that perspective brings?

Moving into such total acceptance does not mean that we stop

growing.  When we can accept who we are now,

we open the doors to our own inspiration to do and be even more!

"Who you really are is enough."
                                     -- Oriah Mountain Dreamer

"Wherever you are is always the right place. 
There is never a need to fix anything, to hitch up the bootstraps 
of the soul and start at some higher place.

Start right where you are."
                 -- Julia Cameron

Sometimes Life Aint What You Expext It To Be....

Be Aware Of Duty

"To serve is beautiful, but only if it is done with joy and a whole heart."                                                                                                                               -- Pearl S. Buck 

Many of us have been taught to do our duty. 
What does this imply to you? 
For me, ‘doing my duty’ means doing something 
I really don’t want to do. 
My heart’s not in it, and so the energy for the act isn’t there. 
I have to force every move. Usually, there’s underlying resentment.

When this is the scenario, tasks may get done,
but there’s no gift to the world.
We do not truly serve the world if we give to others,
but neglect our own truth and our own needs. 
We need to give to ourselves as we give to others. 
IT’S NOT SELFISH TO LOOK AFTER OURSELVES -- 
IT’S ESSENTIAL!

"Forget the resolutions. 
Forget control and discipline...too much work. 
Instead try experimenting. 
Go in search of something to fall in love with...something 
about yourself, your career, your spouse." 
                                                                      -- Dale Dauten

"Nothing truly valuable arises from ambition or from 
a mere sense of duty; it stems rather from love and devotion 
towards men and towards objective things." 
                                                                      -- Albert Einstein

Politeness.......

Amuzing Sandwiches......

First Laptop PC!

Imagine working on one of these!

Any Idea Who Painted This?

The man himself, Hitler!

This is a picture of the artist!

Any ideas on who painted these paintings?

I will buy cake for the one who knows?

Come on, take a guess!